January, 2024

How often do we hear the words “I’ll say a prayer for you.” Over the years, my mom has suffered numerous health setbacks, and I have often been the recipient of well-wishers who say they will pray for us.  I envy their eager convictions.  I wish that I could perform a prayer with the same ease – a johnny on the spot prayer.  When I do pray, I end up feeling it is a feeble attempt to send a message to God.  I am not sure if it is even enough to deserve recognition.  

When I was young and growing up in the Catholic Church, I never felt this way.  I knew how to pray correctly.  There was a building to pray in and a bench to kneel down on to perform the rite.  There was a prayer book and often a priest to lead the prayer.  When I was home at night, I knelt by my bed and recited my memorized prayers. There was very little individual thought that went into it, and yet when I was done praying, I felt assured that I had indeed prayed.  Now, as I am older and no longer attend a formal church, I have a harder time forming a prayer.  And yet, at this stage of life, I would like to become better at praying from my heart.  I want to be authentic in my words. I want to do more than send off a message to the universe.  How do I begin a more prayerful life? I want a more spiritual life, but not necessarily a more religious one.  Is there a difference?

What does it mean to be religious?  According to Merriam-Webster, to be religious is to it is show faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity.  The Cambridge version says the word religious refers to a person “believing strongly in the existence of a god or gods” which seems a much clearer definition.  Neither says anything about the devotion to a particular dogma or belief.  A religious person can be anyone who believes in God.  According to a survey conducted in 2017 by the Pew Research Center, only about 10% of Americans don’t believe in any kind of higher power or spiritual force.  The good news is that most Americans believe in a higher power, and most choose to call that higher power God. 

I was wondering if my favorite poet, Mary Oliver, had anything to say about God.  Ironically, the very first poem in her book Devotions speaks of her curiosity:

“I Wake Close to Morning”

Why do people keep asking to see

                God’s identity papers

When the darkness opening into morning

                Is more than enough?

Certainly, any god might turn away in disgust.

Think of Sheba approaching

                The kingdom of Solomon.

Do you think she had to ask,

                “Is this the place?”

Oliver says that the evening’s darkness that gives way to the morning light should be proof enough that God is here with us.  Despite the many wrongs we do to the earth and to each other every day, the sun continues to rise and bestow its heat and energy and light on us.  It is a gift.  It is always there, whether we can see it through the clouds or not.  Like God’s presence. Thank you, Mary Oliver, once again.